sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
