I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
