I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
