i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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