Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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