Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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