why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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