We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
