I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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