Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
