Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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