Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I see more hoeing in ur future
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
