My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
