Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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