I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
vagina is talking i cant
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
