you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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