So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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