I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
