People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
