So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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