your room smells of hookers.
And success
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
