Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
