so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
