I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
