i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
