I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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