Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
