Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
