Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
