I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
