Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
