Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
