What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
