have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
