I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
