On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
