Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
