Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ladies don't puke and tell
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
