I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
