I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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