Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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