Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
