My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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