What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
