Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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