You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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