So drunk, too bad you don't want this
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
