Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
