He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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