We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
